Tuesday, March 11, 2014

3 month marriage lessons.


I can't believe I've been married almost 3 and a half months!  And yet, I feel like I've learned (or am just beginning to learn) a lot!  Here are a few things I thought of this morning...

-         Don’t overanalyze anything that is spoken or done.  Assume the best.  Ask about intentions when in doubt.

-         Don’t start in with all the things you need your husband to do when he gets home from work – he’s probably been hearing that all day from co-workers and supervisors already.

-         You don’t always have to look your best for your husband, but sometimes you should look your best, just for him- and not just on special date nights.  You get dressed up for everyone else, why not the most important person in your life?

-         Enjoy moments (even if it’s just 30 seconds!) in the midst of a busy day to just be together.  A 15 second hug can get you through a hard day.

-       Don't feel like you NEED a dozen roses on Valentine's day, for example.  This year, we talked about expectations for February 14th.  Then we waited and celebrated on Feb 16th, I think.  It was 2 weeks after that when we bought some nice artificial flowers for our home, instead of using $ on roses on valentine's.  That's just what we did this year.

-         Sleep is just as important as it ever was.  Maybe even more important now!

-         Best advice I got before getting married was, ‘Give yourself 10 years.’
I've come back to that a couple times already since being married, and find it encouraging!
-         If your week or schedule right now doesn't allow for longer dates or excursions, take a few minutes to make your home a special place to be!  Change the tablecloth, use different placemats, eat on a different table than you usually do, make lemonade instead of water, use different plates or glasses than normal.  And go ahead and put on the shirt or skirt you've been waiting for an opportunity to wear :-)
-         When your husband is busy, you should get busy too!  Find a new hobby!

-         Laughing, letting go, and sympathizing are key to moving through conflict.

-         Cooking really isn’t that bad – it keeps getting easier!
-           Try not to constantly tell your husband how to do something differently (aka: how you would do it, even if you're convinced it's the better way!).  He has lived life probably about as long as you have or longer and can probably manage the basics of life without you.  He does appreciate your help with many things, but truly does not need it for every single thing :-)

-         Oh yeah, and one more: Don’t throw something in the trash your husband tells you not throw out.

Can't believe it'll be 4 months next week!  Still lots to learn! Here we go!

1 comment:

Phil Dosa said...

Looks like you've been learning a lot already! The best advice Tasha and I got was to treat your marriage like a person. You wouldn't expect a 3 month old to have much of a clue about what is going one. Even a three or six year old still has A LOT to learn and it takes time!

Eat all the stuff, wear all the things

Growing up, I learned to “save the best for last.” I believe it was in the context of eating, and thus I still apply this to just ab...