I'll confess that I struggle with black & white thinking. You can either give it all, or you can give it nothing. The answer is either yes or no. There's no middle ground. I despise uncertainty and ambiguity makes me nervous. How did I ever survive 3 years in S. Asia? #ByGodsgracealone.
And of course, marriage does a wonderful job at putting this personality quirk of mine (aka: sinful desire for control) in the pressure cooker! Thankfully, Jason finds my unwavering dogmatic approach to life occasionally strengthening and encouraging, and the rest of the time humorous.
Anyway, this morning, my craving for all or nothing results definitely distracted me from some sweet time with the Lord. Maybe you can relate.
I took a break from work this morning to sit down this morning and read through Colossians, a book of the Bible that the women in my church are studying this Fall.
Here's how my thoughts when as I sat down to read:
Ahh, yes, I can just read this book straight through...that's the goal for today.
(started reading the first verse)
But maybe I should read all the notes and helps to really grasp it...No, that'll come later...just read the text.
Maybe I should listen to it in audio form...
Maybe I should read it in 2-3 different translations, yeah, I'll do that...
(reading the second verse now)
I should probably listen and read at the same time...nah, I'll read first, then listen.
(reading the third verse)
I should memorize a part of this book...wait how long is it anyway...Yeah, I could try to memorize the whole thing!
(reading the 4th verse)
Wait...I should write a blog post on how distracted I am by trying to become the master of the book of Colossians instead of just reading it for whatever the Lord has in it for me today.
(going to get computer...now typing this blog post...)
Lesson for today:
Sometimes it's better not to make lofty goals for the future that only distract from the simple things of now. #beinthemoment #simplyreadGodsWord #hereandnow