Thursday, April 20, 2017

In the waiting

As I wait for our daughter to enter the world, I have to say it is the most surreal time of my life.

And the fact that we are now going on 41 weeks and 4 days (i.e. 11 days overdue so far), the waiting and unsteady emotions intensify the limbo feeling that I've been in for a while now.

All of the following thoughts have run through my mind the past week, most of them in the same day, within minutes of each other.  Then they repeat.

We are going to have a baby!!! - Said with nothing but pure joy and excitement.
We are going to have a baby! - Thought with fear and trepidation.
She's going to come at any minute.
She's never going to come.
At the same time, it is inevitable.  Unlike a final exam which you could just skip.  Or unlike a party or event, which you could walk out of, at this point, the labor and delivery of a baby is inevitable, unless, of course, Jesus comes back before then.
We shouldn't make any plans in case labor does start.
We should go ahead and make lots of plans so we have something to do while we wait!
But, still get lots of rest and sleep cause that's what everyone says we should do.
I might as well try castor oil.
I should definitely never try castor oil.
I should get done all the things I wanted to get done before she is born. - Somehow, there are still things to do, pretty sure there always will be.
I don't want to do anything.
I want to do everything.

2 weeks ago, I thought the big event in my life was labor.  Now, I feel like the big accomplishment in my life will be having survived waiting for 2 weeks.

But in reality, the 'bigger' event is still yet to come.  Labor, in whatever form it happens, is literally just around the corner.

I have two doctor's appointments today - a Non Stress Test to check everything with Baby Eno, and a check for me.

If anything is wrong, we'll do the induction right away, today.

Assuming everything is fine, a medical induction is scheduled for Saturday, which will be 41 weeks, 6 days.

At the end of the day, I will only sleep in my bed 2 more nights (max) before going to the hospital and Lord willing, coming home a few days later with our daughter.

At the end of the day, a week from now, by God's grace, we will have had our daughter already for a few days.

Even though I thought we would already be in that place by now, and even though we've had more than 9 months to think about it, it's still an insanely crazy and thrilling thought!

And the end of the day, the waiting is almost over.

She is almost here.

Could anything be more exciting!?

Yours, O Lord, is the greatness, the power, the glory, the victory, and the majesty. Everything in the heavens and on earth is yours, O Lord, and this is your kingdom. We adore you as the one who is over all things.  Wealth and honor come from you alone, for you rule over everything. Power and might are in your hand, and at your discretion people are made great and given strength.

“O our God, we thank you and praise your glorious name!  But who am I, and who are my people, that we could give anything to you? Everything we have has come from you, and we give you only what you first gave us! We are here for only a moment, visitors and strangers in the land as our ancestors were before us. Our days on earth are like a passing shadow, gone so soon without a trace.1 Chronicles 29:11-15

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