Saturday, March 26, 2011

A highway with a mountain at the end...


Do you ever feel like you are standing on the highway of life, and you’ve come a point where the world around you is standing still and you have a few seconds to consider where you are, to look back on the road you’ve come from, and gaze down the road in front of you?

You’ve been on a journey for a while.
You lift your foot to take a step forward, but as you take another long glance down the unending road, you hesitate…

Wondering…

Asking questions…

Is this really the course I am to take?
Am I sure I didn’t take a wrong turn somewhere?
There is a huge mountain at the end of this road…will I have enough energy to climb it when I get there?
Do I dare set out on such an uncertain mission knowing that all odds are against me?

There aren’t any exists, or even rest-stops in the foreseeable future.
Once I start down this road, there is no going back.

Or is it really that serious?  That sounds so final, like such a commitment.
Surely, there’s always a way out, right?
I can change my mind half-way if really need to, right?

Um.  It is serious, it is a commitment, and no- you cannot change your mind half-way there.

I hear voices behind me helping me think through very real consequences of moving forward.
I see faces in front of me drawing my attention to lasting effects of staying where I am.
I hear my own heart pounding as it struggles in the middle.

I begin to ask deeper questions.
What is my motivation for staying where I am, or for moving forward?
What is my purpose, my passion, my aim, my goal, my reason for what I do, what I say, and who I am?

Are these the questions I should be asking?
Or should I ask:  What is God’s purpose, passion, aim, goal, and reason for my existence?
He created me.  Surely, He has a plan, passion and purpose for the Life He has given me.

Hmmm.

Here I am, in the middle of the highway, with my foot raised, ready to take a step forward.
But still hesitating…

just a few thoughts sparked by a conference I recently attended, some emails and conversations with friends, and my own curiosity of what lies ahead, and the dilemma of knowing that I will never really fully know what that is.  In this entry, I’m reflecting on a few different topics, which I have not mentioned explicitly.  I may blog more about a particular one at some point…We’ll see.  I may at least try to give more clarity to the confusing chaos here, as things become more refined in my own heart and mind…

1 comment:

Jen D said...

This is good Elizabeth! I can relate more than I could ever begin to express. I guess I am thankful that God does know everything and He knows how it is all going to work out. I was reminded this week that God wants to reveal His plans to us. He isn't trying to hide things from us just to torment us; that isn't His character, but don't we act like it is? Thanks for sharing your heart.