Do you ever feel like you are standing on the highway of life, and you’ve come a point where the world around you is standing still and you have a few seconds to consider where you are, to look back on the road you’ve come from, and gaze down the road in front of you?
You’ve been on a journey for a while.
You lift your foot to take a step forward, but as you take another long glance down the unending road, you hesitate…
Is this really the course I am to take?
Am I sure I didn’t take a wrong turn somewhere?
There is a huge mountain at the end of this road…will I have enough energy to climb it when I get there?
Do I dare set out on such an uncertain mission knowing that all odds are against me?
There aren’t any exists, or even rest-stops in the foreseeable future.
Once I start down this road, there is no going back.
Or is it really that serious? That sounds so final, like such a commitment.
Surely, there’s always a way out, right?
I can change my mind half-way if really need to, right?
Um. It is serious, it is a commitment, and no- you cannot change your mind half-way there.
I hear voices behind me helping me think through very real consequences of moving forward.
I see faces in front of me drawing my attention to lasting effects of staying where I am.
I hear my own heart pounding as it struggles in the middle.
I begin to ask deeper questions.
What is my motivation for staying where I am, or for moving forward?
What is my purpose, my passion, my aim, my goal, my reason for what I do, what I say, and who I am?
Are these the questions I should be asking?
Or should I ask: What is God’s purpose, passion, aim, goal, and reason for my existence?
He created me. Surely, He has a plan, passion and purpose for the Life He has given me.
Here I am, in the middle of the highway, with my foot raised, ready to take a step forward.
But still hesitating…
…just a few thoughts sparked by a conference I recently attended, some emails and conversations with friends, and my own curiosity of what lies ahead, and the dilemma of knowing that I will never really fully know what that is. In this entry, I’m reflecting on a few different topics, which I have not mentioned explicitly. I may blog more about a particular one at some point…We’ll see. I may at least try to give more clarity to the confusing chaos here, as things become more refined in my own heart and mind…