Sunday, March 6, 2011

I didn’t realize how gone it was, until I got it back!!

Email to a friend…(with minor edits)

 I’m confused right now.  I feel like I want to return to South Asia SO BAD.  I haven’t felt like this for the past year or so.  I think I’m finally over my burn-out from my last project.  I actually WANT to come back here and LIVE.

I want to sweat, I want to shiver.  I want to get sick.  I want to eat rice twice a day.  I want to have no electricity.  I want to feel dirty.  I want to know the shopkeeper and his family.  I want to drink tea.  I could go on.  Okay, I guess I don’t really want to get sick, but I guess I feel willing to…even knowing what it means, and how it feels.

I have to ‘get back out there’ – in South Asia (or somewhere!) and really THRIVE.

I haven’t been as happy as I am right now in a long time.  I feel so content, and so joyful.  I smile and laugh a lot.

I want to cry having rediscovered this deep part of me that has been suppressed for the past year due to being burnt-out before… It’s like I’m finding that passion, that excitement that kept me alive before.  It’s wonderful.

I didn’t realize how gone it was, until I got it back!!

And yet- I don’t know what it means.  Does it really mean, come back to S. Asia?  I mean, say, in the next several  months?  What does it really mean?  Practically?  Does it mean taking a new assignment somewhere?   What would it look like?  What do I do with these thoughts?  Where do I funnel this passion and excitement?

Anyway, these are just journal thoughts here, friend- I may write a blog about it, we’ll see…… – thanks for listening, and for praying….

Well – I hope you are feeling better and the boys are doing well.

Back to checking stories for now……

~ Elizabeth 

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