Sunday, March 13, 2016

Cookie dough. Aka: Day 28 fail.

Cookies for my cousins...or...for me?
"You are worse off than you think you are."

Yesterday was Day 28 (of Whole30).

I have a confession.

There's no way around it.  Last night, I ruined my whole30 diet.

I ate 3 spoonfuls...yes, spoonfuls of incredibly delectable raw chocolate chip cookie dough.

It was completely cheating and I can't believe I did it.

But, it was insanely scrumptious.
To die for.
And in the moment had absolutely no regrets.

I do now, of course.

How could I only have 2 days left of a 30 day diet, and just flat out ruin it in 5 minutes?

Well, I did.

I learned first hand is that it's really easy to mess up something really quickly.


But that's not even the worst of it.

All month long, I've assumed that I am doing a good thing depriving myself of peanut butter and training myself to settle for sunflower seed butter.

That would have been okay except that the sunflower seed butter I have been eating nearly every other day has SUGAR in it!  What!?  I don't know how I missed it.

But I did.

So, I have been unconsciously cheating on my whole30 diet almost since the beginning.  #areyouserious #epicfail

On the way to church this morning, I listed the ways I failed the diet.

Jason said, "Why can't we focus on all the good thing that happened over the past 28 days?"
"evaporated cane syrup" = sugar = not compliant

I said, "Because I wanted perfection.  And that didn't happen."

Story of my life.

I strive for perfection.
This isn't necessarily a bad thing.
It is just an impossible thing.

Nothing can ever be entirely perfect here.
Everything is flawed.
Everything is tainted.

When will I submit this frustrating reality to the Lord and lean on His perfection in my weakness?

I'm sure it will take a lifetime to grasp this.

Knowing that the past 28 days haven't been perfect and the next 30 won't be either:

I am starting a new round of whole30 tomorrow (Monday March 14).

Thanks for following a bit of my journey and for encouraging me in the next round!!

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