Saturday, November 17, 2018

A prayer for today

Today could have been the day. It could have been the day we would have been anticipating for 9 months. It could have been filled with expectation, and perhaps a scheduled c-section, or an induction, or the famous castor oil procedure to bring on labor "naturally." It wouldn't have matter how she arrived, we would have been over-the-moon about our new little baby girl.

And yet, we lost that hope back in July as we were told there was no longer a heartbeat in our baby, who had been growing for nearly 22 weeks, inside of me. As we went through those excruciating next days of flying from Delaware back home to Florida and of me giving birth to our baby girl, we clung to the only thing we knew was secure - the promises of God.

And so, we named our little girl, Promise.

Today, Lord, remind me of your Promises. You gave me my little Promise so that whenever I thought of her, I would be reminded of your promises to me.

She could have been here with us this month. We could have been able to see and hold her and love her.

And yet, she is being held and loved - by you now, in a deeper way that she ever would know on earth.

We could have perhaps had the joy and gift of another daughter. We could have perhaps been able to watch her grow, and laugh, and smile. Even this Christmas, we could have had two little girls to marvel over!

But instead you had better plans for Promise, and for us. Promise has never had to walk through the pain of this world - she has only ever known your presence - what a joy for her!

And we too have known your presence in a way we never could have known without you allowing us this experience.

Of course, I wish there was another way for us to gain this blessing, but this is the path you have given us.

Remind me today, that you are in control, that you have given me the life I have, that you are above ALL things, and you have decided this is a GOOD place for me.

Remind me that I can trust you - you are God after all. The boundary lines have fallen in pleasant places.

Help me to see that this is indeed a beautiful land. Help me remember that this remarkable harvest you have brought me to is only possible through the work of nurturing and cultivating. Remind me that life results only because of the death required in pruning and harvesting.

Only from the work of living a perfect life and the death of Your only son came the life that I can have in you.

And in a much smaller way, only from work of laboring Promise into the world, and only from her death can come whatever will come, for Your glory.

Today might have been the day when medical professionals would tell us to expect Promise's arrival, but it is so much more than that.

It is YOUR day. Your day to be glorified in all things.

Thank you that every day is your day, no matter what comes.

Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup,
you make my lot secure.

The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
    surely I have a delightful inheritance

~ Psalm 16:5-6

Video from the Funeral and burial of our daughter, Promise
This video also contains pictures from our time with Promise at the hospital.

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