Saturday, February 26, 2011

A stirring in my heart...

Why is it that the moment I land in this country, something starts stirring in my heart?  What is it that draws my eyes to look at people, at the world, at myself, and at God in different and deeper ways than before?  How can my mind wonder about things it has never wondered about before?

Why is it that as children play in the streets in their bare feet, I long to be with them?  Why is it that as a mother walks, with her water jug on her head, I unconsciously reach up to my own head, almost feeling the weight pressing down on my neck.  Why is it that through the noise of busses, cars, rickshaws, bicycles, trucks, and taxis, something is calling my name?  The dirt, the dust, the sweat, the chaos of this country asks, ‘Where have you been? What took you so long to come back? Don’t leave again…’

In many ways this visit to South Asia feels the same as any other visit.
Unpredictable, frustrating, dirty, frowning, smelly, staring, noisy, confusing, overwhelming, draining.

And yet, something about this visit to South Asia feels different.
South Asia hasn’t changed much over the past few months…but I wonder if I have changed.

Preparing for this particular trip to South Asia, I was (and still am) really excited to come back!  Perhaps more excited to come back this time, than in the past 4-5 visits.  Why?  I can’t exactly say.  It’s not that I wasn’t excited before.  I was.  But this time, I’m thrilled to be here.

And riding in the taxi from the airport to the hotel last night reminded me of the strong hold that this country has on me… for what purpose, I can’t say for sure at this point in time.  But one thing I know and one thing has been confirmed, this strong pull cannot be denied.

I don’t know the reason, but I know I can trust God, and his timing, and his perfect plan.

For now, for at least the next 4 weeks, I look forward to diving into this country, and applying myself to God’s continual purposes for me here.

1 comment:

Jen said...

Thanks for sharing. He definitely has something in store for your heart. He will make it more clear in time.