I’m not sure what it is about travelling, but as I wait for a flight, or stare out a window 35,000 feet above the world, something happens to me. It is one of the only times I am forced to sit still and observe the world we live in. I am forced to reflect on the past, to analyze the present, and begin to predict or at least wonder about my future. I say forced because while I enjoy the forced sit-down time, it often frustrates my mind.
Especially the past few days of travel…it seemed to initiate a never ending conversation between two voices inside of me – neither one coming out on top, and neither one revealing their identity or source.
The still unresolved conflict was about what I’m going to do after this current project. So many times in the past few months, I’ve had seemingly divine notions that perhaps I am being called “home” (to USA) for a time. Of course, this thought completely blows my mind since only about 3 years ago did I tentatively plan to live the rest of my life in a specific remote village in the Himalayan foothills of North India. So, how is it possible that I could consider giving that up?
And yet, as I sit here waiting for the 2nd of three flights to Thailand to lead a storying training there, I look across the room and see her. She represents millions of people. She is a poorly dressed woman with the task of cleaning the restrooms and handing out toilet paper or a towel to dry your hands in hopes of a few rupees in return. One glance and my heart melts all over again, remembering my dream to take his Name to the least, and the lost, and go particularly to those places where no one else wants to go.
Then I continue looking around the room. I see families laughing, enjoying life together in community, and I think, “what in the world am I doing here – all alone in a place and with people completely unlike me? We weren’t meant to live like this. We were meant to live in community with those we love.
And yet, there she stands. Her eyes speak loudly… “I know there is more to this life than this. I know someone out there has the answer, why won’t they tell me?”